The Importance Of Long-Lasting Friendships
Friendships, like most things in your life, will come and go. They have purpose, enjoyment, and fulfillment. Once they’ve served that purpose they often leave without us even noticing. People grow apart and that’s okay. But that doesn’t mean you give up on making friends entirely just because there’s a good chance that you may not always be friends. There’s a good chance a lot of things you don’t want to happen in your life will happen. But if we acknowledge that early when/if it does come to a sour point, it won’t be too sad. It’s about the memories, the process of a friendship.
And if you do the correct steps your friendship can last years. Personally, I’ve had a friendship with someone for about eight years. We don’t talk that much anymore, but every once in a while we give each other a holler and it’s great. We’re not as close as we were a few years ago, but we’re still best friends and everything is okay.
Mastering The Skill Of Making Friends
Making friends is in fact a skill. It’s a skill anyone is capable of mastering. But as a teenage girl, it seems the older you get the harder it gets to do. Because when you’re young, you have no fear. Making friendships is as easy as pie. In fact, I met my best friend of now eight years because I just walked up to her and said hi in the playground in our complex. I was about six at the time. I wasn’t nervous. I had no fear. Fast forward to a year or two ago, I was in the library attending a teen event. When a girl walked up to me and started a conversation. A conversation that eventually led to an exchanging of numbers and the start of a great friendship. If she hadn’t come up to me I probably wouldn’t have come up to her or anyone for that matter. And although she’s never said it. I have a feeling that that was very hard to do since she’s kind of shy. But she made an effort to relinquish the fear inside her and make the first move.
And that’s the first step. Relinquishing your fear and making the first move. But like anything it takes practice, I myself have not fully mastered this. But if I’m in a group setting and someone starts talking about a topic I happen to like and know about I will try to relate and say something about it.
And although it is not a guarantee that it will end in friendship it is a possibility and even if you don’t establish a friendship you had someone or multiple people to talk to for a little bit. As long as you enjoyed yourself I call that a win and another step forward. So we know the how. But we still need the where. Where do I make friends? And more importantly long-lasting friendships
Through School
This one is for all my girls who go to public school.
You’re around people your age almost every day for hours at a time. Use that time and place to your advantage. Strike up a conversation about the latest assignment or how good/bad the school lunch is. Use humor. You’d be surprised how many people will want to be your friend if you make them laugh. People want to be around people that make them feel positive feelings like joy. If you can get someone to even chuckle or smile you are on the right path.
Through Hobbies
Whatever it is you like. I assure you there’s a whole community that loves it too. It may be big or it may be small, but it’s out there. Hobbies are an easy way to make friends because you already have a conversation starter. Go where your people are. Find places where people like to do your hobby. If your a painter or you like art got to paint nights or museums. Friendships are all about efforts.
But these aren’t the only avenues to friendships. You and another person could see something totally wack and end up laughing about it. There’s a saying that says you’ll find a romantic relationship when you least expect it, I find that the same thing applies to friendships. Sometimes the best friendships come out of unexpected coincidences or spontaneity. But you’ll never know unless you try.
Assessment
So let’s say hypothetically you made a friend. You guys have been friends for a few months now. Now it’s time to assess the friendship. Exactly where do you guys stand? Are you just acquaintances? Are you best friends? Or are you somewhere in between? This is important if you’re looking for a long-lasting friendship. There are questions to ask yourself and things to consider when developing a friendship with someone.
- How do you feel when you are with said person? Are you happy? Are just okay? Are you numb? Do you feel drained?
- Do you actually like this person? Or are you only friends with them for the sake of having someone?
- Is the amount of effort being put in reciprocated? Do you always have to call or text them first? Or are you the one that has to plan everything when you guys want to hang out?
The answers to these questions will determine whether you move forward with the process of the friendship
Actively Working On It
Friendships take work and a lot of it. But it is so rewarding. Especially if the reward is a fulfilling friendship.
There will be disagreements, fights, and maybe a little drama. It’s just the reality of the situation. There will be times where you maybe don’t talk or hang out for what seems like forever. But if you guys care enough you can come back from almost anything. Don’t give up just because of one disagreement that left a bad taste in your mouth. If you both think it’s worth it. Work on the problems within your friendship. Talk about it. Talking and discussion can probably solve 99% percent of the issues you have in your friendship. And although it sounds like a neverending task. You probably won’t even realize all these things you do to protect your friendship is you actively working on it. It’s something that happens automatically, perhaps even subconsciously.
Conclusion
In conclusion master, the skill of making friends, put yourself out there. Expose yourself to new possibilities and new ways to make friends. And once you get one take the time mentally to assess and work on your friendship. Acknowledge that sometimes friendships end, but don’t give up because of it. It doesn’t have to be sad. And most importantly have fun and enjoy the process.
-Just another teenage girl
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